Choosing The Comfort Zone Inhibit Your Growth: The Coping Mechanism

Last few days, I caught myself in a familiar pattern: Whenever I felt uncertain about my writing, I’d immediately open YouTube."Just for background noise," I told myself.

Two hours later, I hadn’t written a single word.

Sound familiar?

It hit me like a punch to the gut: this wasn’t just a habit—it was a coping mechanism. And it was quietly sabotaging my growth.

The Comfortable Lie We Tell Ourselves

We all have them:

The "productive procrastination" of organizing your desk instead of starting that project.

The endless research phase instead of taking action.

The social media scroll when work gets frustrating.

The Netflix binge when uncertainty creeps in.

These aren’t just habits. They’re psychological barriers—things we do to shield ourselves from discomfort.

And while they feel good in the moment, they come with a cost:

Our greatest growth is on the other side of that discomfort.

The Hidden Price of Coping Mechanisms

The problem with coping mechanisms? They work.

At least in the short term.

That YouTube “background noise” did make me feel less anxious about writing.

The endless research does make us feel more “prepared”.

The social media scroll does give a momentary escape.

But here’s the painful truth:

• Every time we use a coping mechanism, we trade in our future self for short-term relief.

• Every time we choose comfort, we reinforce the belief that we can’t handle discomfort.

• Every time we avoid discomfort, we strengthen the fear that’s holding us back.

• Every time we avoid discomfort… we miss an opportunity for real growth.

Think about it:

Has more research ever made you feel fully ready?

Has scrolling social media ever made you more confident about your path?

How to Break Free (Without Overwhelming Yourself)

Over the last week, I tracked my coping mechanisms. And I noticed something fascinating:

The moments I forced myself to sit with discomfort were the moments I had the biggest breakthroughs.

Here’s what actually works:

Step 1: Catch the Coping Mechanism in Action

• Notice when you reach for your coping mechanism (ex: scrolling, researching, Netflix, etc.)

• Name the emotion behind it (ex: anxiety, fear, uncertainty, boredom…)

• Write it down (keep some sort of note for "coping triggers")

Step 2: Sit With the Discomfort (Even for 5 Minutes)

• Set a timer for 5 minutes

• Feel the discomfort fully (instead of numbing it)

• Notice that… it doesn’t destroy you

Step 3: Choose a Growth-Oriented Action Instead

• Ask yourself: What would growth look like in this moment?

• Take one small action in that direction (write one messy sentence, send one email, start a project)

• Document the result(you'll be surprised)

I invite you to experiment with this, the mental barriers and limiting beliefs are no joke for any sort of success.

A little challenge for you:

1) Track Your Patterns

• Notice when you reach for comfort

• Write down the emotion behind it

• Identify what you're avoiding

2) Pick One Coping Mechanism to Challenge

• Choose your biggest one (social media, YouTube, over-researching, etc.)

• Set a 5-minute "discomfort timer" before giving in

• Notice what happens when you sit with the feeling

3) Document Your Growth

• What did you learn?

• What felt uncomfortable?

• What growth did you experience?

A Personal Story

Yesterday at around 8 AM, I got a message from leadership:

"You want to deploy in 2-4 weeks for a year-long mission in Cuba?"

Hell yes, I was ready. No hesitation—I immediately replied "YES."

But by the afternoon, I hadn’t heard anything back. So I followed up.

Turns out… they didn't put my name down.

Man, I felt a burning hell inside me. Frustration, anger, disappointment—it all hit at once. My mind was a mess, and I couldn’t focus on writing or even hold a conversation.

I wanted to escape. A cold shower. A nap. Anything to quiet my mind.

But I didn’t.

I took a deep breath, muttered "It is what it is", made myself a limonade, and sat down to write again.

And that’s when it hit me—this is what coping mechanisms are all about.

That frustration could’ve derailed my whole day. But instead of numbing it, I faced it. And that’s how this newsletter was written.

We can’t control everything. But we can control how we respond.

What coping mechanism will you challenge this week?

Hit reply and let me know—I read every message.

See you next week,

J Aviles

P.S. If this resonated, consider sharing it with someone who might need this message today.

P.S. Feel free to hit reply with any questions, comments, ideas, or feedback. Tell me what is your key takeaway and what are some problems you face when writing and creating content.